Have you ever had to sit in a stuffy auditorium, watching a silent, black and white, pro-KKK movie… for three hours? Has the result of these three hours been that you know nothing about the narrative of the film and you need a new iPhone? Don't worry if you haven't, as I'm about to fill you in.

Yes, last night was my first screening for my Narrative in Cinema class. Luckily, it is the longest movie we'll be watching in the class, so I don't really need to worry about experiencing that kind of pain again. Well, except for The Thin Red Line, but that's about fifteen minutes shorter.

Yes, Birth of a Nation is one of the most painful film experiences ever. Mostly because I know it's just such a watershed in cinema and I just hate it. It's three hours of Griffiths trying to convince us that black people are evil. In the end, the Klan rides in on horses, shooting black people, while "Ride of the Valkyries" blares.

What's even worse is that I went into the movie with a complete iPhone. I left, however, with an iPhone that was missing its silent ring button. It happened when I went to take the case off it, just for fun. Never do that in the dark.

So, this morning, I walked down to the Rogers store and they told me that they couldn't do anything and that I would need to call tech support. So I did and they are going to send me another phone, free of charge, assuming that I return my phone. Blargh. Oy, I'm tired.